How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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