Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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