If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
