I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Say something about gay babies.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
