Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
