I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
