VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
