i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I need moral support for this bender
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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