the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My bed smells like the plague
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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