i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
