You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
