He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
