This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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