exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
