i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
