The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
