I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Randomize
