hotel room ftw
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
