He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I just shit out all my problems.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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