it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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