I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
