i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
