Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
