rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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