wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
