just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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