hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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