Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
