Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
