Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
