Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
