Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
