Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize