I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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