how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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