Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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