Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
