Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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