covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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