i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
