made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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