I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
