haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
