I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
