Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
