For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
