so that wasnt chicken after all
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
