sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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