Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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