While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
