I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
