Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
