after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
