when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
