1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
